Heaven 17

Heaven Seventeen.  

My sixteenth year was split in two directions.  In one corner I had my friend John, who was already 25 years old.  He was tall, with long stringy hair, he had his own apartment in my neighborhood, and he kept his Winstons and beer in the freezer.  I guess I can look back and admit to myself that he was my hero at the time.  He was everything I wanted to be: cool looking, smooth, and living on his own.   In the other corner was my virginity, which was one more hurdle I had to cross before I could be anything like John.

John always had girls at his house.  Once I visited him unexpectedly and was greeted at the door by him in a towel, standing right behind him a fine blonde girl also in a towel.  “We were just about to jump in the shower. Here’s the remote.” he told me.  Goddammit, he’s taking a shower with a girl, I thought as I heard giggles and murmurs drift with the steam from the bathroom.  It killed me that this type of stuff was going on around me, and I wasn’t part of it.

John was great because he’d always let me, and occasionally some other kids, come up to his house and drink beer, get high and watch TV.  Once when I was alone with him a few older girls stopped by.  After a bit of partying, one of them started flirting with me.

“You’re jailbait.  But it would be fun to break you in!” Felicia said to me, in front of John and her best friend Cathy. 

“Yeah, you think so? Let’s go take a shower!” is what I nervously managed to spit out. What was I thinking?

“Are you still a virgin?” Cathy asked me.

How could they tell? Do I not drink fast enough? Is it by the way I hold my cigarette? My zits?

“It’s all your horny energy!” John said, to everyone’s laughter.

Now my virginity was the topic of the conversation.  I didn’t really hear what was happening because I was thinking of my next move.  I could either pretend I was experienced, and miss a potential pity fuck from Felicia, or I can exploit this moment and win a pity fuck from Felicia.

“Ok, ok, I’m a virgin.  Are you happy now?”  I looked down and acted ashamed.

 In my head I felt John’s telepathic approval of my plan.

“Come on Felicia, why don’t you take him in my room?” said John, pouring a bit more Jack into her Coke.  Ahhh, he was right behind me.

“Get out of here, John” I said, choosing the coy guy role over the tough guy role. Who am I kidding?  I was petrified.  Cathy grabbed Felicia’s arm and said to her “Let’s go.  These guys just want to have an orgy with us.”  John chuckled as he took Felicia’s Jack and Coke and poured half into his glass, the remaining into mine. 

“When do you turn seventeen, Robert” Felicia asked me, as she put her arms around me and prepared to give me a good bye kiss.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw John standing very close to Cathy, softly caressing her ear, getting ready for his own good bye kiss.

Shit, my birthday isn’t until November, I thought.

“July 6^th” I answered. 

“Wow, that’s next month.  Well, will you be here for John’s barbecue on the fourth?”

Hmmm, I didn’t know John was having a barbecue.

“Of course” I told her. 

“Good. Maybe I’ll have a special birthday present for you” she whispered to me, then lightly kissed me on the lips, for a split second longer than was necessary.

“Look at Robert blush!  He’s embarrassed!” John shouted out.  The girls laughed and left the apartment. Felicia smiled at me once more on the way out, and Cathy pinched my cheek.  Once they were out of the apartment John said to me “I heard you, you dog! July 6^th…good one!”

“Dude you are going to owe me for this!  I’m gonna get you laid.”  John said, packing a bowl.

“I don’t know if I can. I’m kinda nervous. I’ve never done it before.” I confessed.  I felt so much better getting it out there, finally admitting it to the world.

“What’s there to be scared about? You got a pole, she’s got a hole!”

“I don’t know what to do. I mean what about pearl necklaces? What about facials?”

John shook his head as he gagged on the smoke.

“That’s for the more advanced lovers, like myself.  If I were you, I’d just stick to the ol’ “poke ‘n grind””.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I think you can figure it out yourself”

Fourth of July weekend eventually came.  Felicia and Cathy came dressed in shorts and tight tops, looking super cute.  John was wearing a top hat and an American flag over his shoulders like a cape.  Some other friends of his were there as well, some with their children or dogs. There was music playing, food everywhere, and fireworks lit the sky.  I was nervous about the whole thing, and frankly, it wasn’t worth even thinking about what might or might not happen. I mingled, ate and drank as I cautiously avoided Felicia.  I think she was feeling nervous too, because she was always on the opposite side of the yard as me. So in an attempt to break the ice, I grabbed a couple of beers, sucked it in, and went over to her.

“Hey Felicia. Happy Fourth!” I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and handing her a beer.

“Oh you’re so sweet” she answered.  There was a tension in the air.  I didn’t like this feeling.

“You know, I was drunk when I said that stuff to you last time I saw you.  I hope you weren’t expecting anything tonight” Felicia said.  That cock tease!  I felt so much better.  Time to recoup.

“No, I know you were joking.  Anyway, I’m not a virgin anymore.  I have a girlfriend now”

“Really?  That’s great.  You’re so nice. She’s such a lucky girl” Felicia threw her arms around me, probably feeling the same relief that I was.

 The rest of the evening was much more comfortable, as I talked to Felicia for a long time about my imaginary girlfriend and all the fun things we did together.

 Little by little, the guests left the barbecue until it was just Felicia and I sitting at the picnic table, and John and Cathy, with their feet in the inflatable Flintstones wading pool, and their arms around each other. For a second I even think I saw his hand up her shirt.

“Incoming!” yelled John, as he threw a spoonful of baked beans at us.  It landed all over me, and some of it on Felicia.

I was startled, and stood up, not knowing what to think or do or say.  I was pissed beyond words. I mean, here I am, having a pleasant conversation with this lovely girl who just rejected me, and he humiliates me in front of her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, John?  You’re so immature.  You shouldn’t drink if you can’t handle it.” said Felicia as she wiped the beans off my neck with her right hand. Her left hand gently held my head back, her fingers in my hair.  In the moonlight and citronella candlelight haze I saw a bean cling to her beautiful Light Ash Brown Number 12 hair. 

“He doesn’t know how to act in public.” I said as I took the bean out of her hair and threw it at him.

“Big fucking deal you babies.  Go in the bathroom and wash it off” said John, with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. Now he was looking at me like I was doing something wrong.

“Fucking ASSHOLE” screamed Felicia when she felt the sticky stuff in her hair. She grabbed me by the hand and led me to the bathroom. “Come on” she said.

As we passed John on the way in, he pinched his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger, and took a long, slow drag.  Then he slowly turned his head towards me and handed me two beers as he winked his eye.

I was slowly catching on.

Moments later, through the opaque bathroom window I could see the abstract shapes of John and Cathy celebrating the Fourth of July in the wading pool, while Felicia calmly took off her clothes and stepped into the shower.  Not sure if she wanted me in there, I turned to leave the bathroom, when she grabbed my shirt and with her other hand turned on the water.

“Is this too hot?” she asked, grabbing my hand and putting it under the warm water with hers.  She looked me straight in the eyes as if daring me… or as if she didn’t notice that she was naked in front of me.

“No, it’s perfect” I said as I took my shirt off in a daze.  I followed her lead and acted like this was the most normal thing in the world.

I was a bit confused, but I didn’t want to ask any questions. I waited for her to change her mind again, but she didn’t.  As coolly as possible, I removed my pants, then stepped back and watched her walk into the stream of water. God, she was beautiful.  I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. It was like I was playing a role in someone else’s life. Outside, we heard our friends upping the ante.

 We giggled and followed suit.

I wondered if she knew it wasn’t my birthday. Nah, it didn’t matter to either of us.